Donald Trump Sparks Outrage in Llandrindod Wells Over “Panama Canal” Boating Lake Takeover
In a move that has left the residents of Llandrindod Wells both baffled and outraged, former U.S. President Donald Trump has reportedly set his sights on the town’s tranquil boating lake, claiming it to be the historic Panama Canal.
Speaking from an impromptu press conference at the Lakeside Café, Trump declared, “This is the greatest canal in the world. People didn’t know about it, but I did. Tremendous canal. Big ships. Big opportunities.”
Despite being informed repeatedly that the “canal” is, in fact, a small recreational boating lake in mid-Wales, Trump seemed unfazed. “Fake news,” he retorted. “I know a canal when I see one. And I’m going to make this place huge. The biggest and best canal you’ve ever seen.”
Local Backlash
The announcement has sent shockwaves through the quiet spa town, with residents voicing their disbelief and discontent.
“I’ve lived here all my life, and I’ve never heard such nonsense,” said local historian Gwyneth Davies. “It’s a boating lake! The only traffic it gets is kids on pedalos and the occasional swan!”
Llandrindod Wells Mayor Emyr Hughes has called an emergency town meeting to address the situation. “We’re deeply concerned about the potential impact on our community,” he stated. “Turning our beloved boating lake into an international canal is simply absurd.”
Trump’s “Vision” for the Lake
Trump’s team has reportedly already drawn up plans to dredge the lake, install shipping locks, and build a luxury Trump-branded golf resort nearby. In typical Trump fashion, he has promised the project will create “millions of jobs” and bring “unbelievable wealth” to the town.
However, local business owners aren’t convinced. “The boating lake is a peaceful retreat for families and tourists,” said café owner Megan Price. “If he dredges it, what happens to the ducks? What happens to my scone business?”
Protests and Petitions
A grassroots campaign, “Keep the Lake Local,” has sprung up overnight, with hundreds of residents signing a petition to stop Trump’s plans. Protesters gathered at the lake, waving signs that read, “No to Trump’s Canal” and “Hands Off Our Swans!”
Even the swans, usually silent on local politics, appeared visibly agitated during the commotion.
Expert Opinions
Environmentalists have also raised alarms, warning of the ecological damage such a project could cause. “The lake is home to numerous species of wildlife,” said Dr. Elen Thomas, a conservationist. “It’s not designed to handle cargo ships or the ego of a billionaire.”
A Global Laughingstock
News of Trump’s latest venture has gone viral, with social media users across the globe ridiculing the idea. One tweet read: “Trump thinks a Welsh boating lake is the Panama Canal. What’s next? Building the Great Wall of Aberystwyth?”
Despite the backlash, Trump remains undeterred. “They laughed at me when I ran for President,” he told reporters. “Now they’re laughing at this. But trust me, folks, this will be the best canal. A beautiful canal. You’ll see.”
For now, the people of Llandrindod Wells are standing their ground, determined to protect their beloved boating lake from becoming a bizarre chapter in international infrastructure history.
